Vulnerability and banana nut muffins

The story that Brené Brown tells in this video is one of emotional consumption, of food and other things. TED talks are brilliant at entertaining and peaking curiosity, and this one is my absolute favorite. These ideas have helped me with the mental battle to make small sacrifices on a regular basis. Like walking past the cookie dough section at the grocery store, or introducing myself to a new person, these miniature wins add up to a more satisfying life experience.  She talks about vulnerability, so it was no surprise to find this video on the PostSecret website, which shared the link a while back. If you haven’t seen PostSecret, or TED for that matter, these two links will definitely increase the quality of internet that you’ve consumed today. You’ll have to watch the video below to find out how any of this involves banana nut muffins.

 

These are the BIG IDEAS that have really stuck with me:

We numb emotions with food, alcohol, drugs, blame, and unbending ideology. 

We use these thing to make us forget about our pain, our exhaustion, our frustration. But, as Brené tells us, “you cannot selectively numb the bad emotions.” The same substances, the same thoughts, are the things that also prevent us from feeling joy to its fullest, because they prevent us from living the lives we really want. Overweight and unfulfilled, we continue to blame others and cover up our hurt with food. It’s a vicious cycle. 

 

The most exhilarating, joyful, unbelievable moments of your life are not spent in your comfort zone. We have to bask in the fear of change, pain, failure, and discomfort, and push on anyway. All these things are scary, but they're not nearly as terifying as the possibility of never living the life you want.

 

People who have fulfilling relationships are those who believe they are worthy of love.

This is the definition of a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t believe that your true self is worthy of love, you will hide it, and thus preemptively cut off any opportunity to have meaningful relationships. Brené tells us that the solution is to, “Let ourselves be seen. Love with your whole heart even though there’s no guarantee. Practice gratitude and joy. To feel this vulnerable means I’m alive.” You're allowed to want to change things about your life and yourself. But first you have to believe that you are worthy of love and respect, exactly as you are.

"You've made this day a special day by just being you. There's no person in the whole world like you. And I like you just the way you are."

- Mr. Rogers

Vulnerability is the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging, love.

The response I get from readers of my blog is clear: “We love you most when you tell the truth.” I don’t sugar coat things. I fail all the time. And people love hearing about it! Does that make you all sadistic? No. It makes you, and me, human. It makes us people who for too long have felt alone in a sea of picture perfect diet advice that doesn’t take into account the fact that we’re trying to live in the real world.

 

Weight loss and maintenance is a lot of work and a lot of emotion. I struggle with binge eating, food pushers, and the fear that it will never get easier. But with the help of a supportive community I have built, lots of cat snuggles, and even more caffeine, I’m doing this. And so can you. If you can accept the idea that small sacrifices, vulnerabilities, and fears are a natural part of the process, you’re on your way to building a set of habits and a life that will get you where you want to go.

 

Life doesn’t have to be easy to be worthwhile, in fact in most cases it’s the opposite. The things that we do in the face of struggle are what define us as human beings. My struggle with food isn’t particularly important in the grand scheme of things, but I hope that my real experiences can help people live happier, healthier lives. That’s a big goal, but it’s why I’m here.